No Strings Attached

Is it possible?

Love the Way You Lie

I am from the camp that believes that love does not hurt. Love is many things but it never leaves you crying huddled in some corner as someone berates you. As you may know at first they are so sorry, but eventually even the apologies dwindle down. An abuser will break you down until you are apologizing to him for making him so angry that he has to hurt you.

If you are being abused, you are not being loved. There is no such thing as a battered woman who is cherished and uplifted. You deserve the best that life can offer. You deserve understanding and a chance to build a life for yourself that does not include people who know nothing but how to manipulate or gain control forcefully.

Remember:

-Love does not hurt.

-Love doesn't take away your self-esteem.

-Love isn't good sex.

-Love isn't "I'm sorry, I'll never do it again".

-Love isn't living in fear.

... most importantly.

You can begin again. You are not alone. Even though it feels like not another single soul understands your pain or your position, I do. The hardest step you'll have ever to take is that first step, after that, you will find yourself running with the excitement of possibility to a new life. There will be bumps and you will have to work hard on believeing in you, but you will find a happier life.

Take the step.

Wisdom on a Cup

One's Way to Life: Be a role model - let your actions reflect what you profess. Honesty is imperative. Money, accomplishments and status - all such things do not measure up to being belived and respected by those close to you. Behaving contrary to your beliefs in the service of others who have different fundamental values doesn't serve either you or them very well. Smiling is the best medicine for mankind day in and day out. Everybody wins. Dr. Ellis. Coffee.

Our Lady of Mount Carmel

July 16th marks the Feast Day for My/Our Lady of Mount Carmel. In my younger days, I remember walking alongside her as she was paraded up and down Melrose Park, Illinois. Everytime I go visit my family, I must stop at my home Church and have a talk with My Lady. What better entity can there be outside of my parents who knows me any better? She has witnessed my baptism, first communion and confirmation under her Church - now the Shrine of Our Lady Mount Carmel. (Of course, I fantasized about bringing my one and only before her and ask for her blessing and continuing the cycle with our children and so on. Things just have a way of changing and it's best to just keep on truckin'.) I wear her scapular with great reverence.

The Scapular is a constant reminder of Mary's presence in our lives. Through the symbol of the Scapular we strive to live and die as friends of God. This is the substance of the Scapular Promise.

Even though I have missed the bulk of the festivities (i.e. coronation, Italian Mass, and Novena), I plan on being there for the Feast Day Mass. Below is a clip of the festivities of last year. Lei è così bella! Divertiti!

Random Movie Quote

Folks, I am here to tell you today that the world is filled with many, many faces. Some of those faces are good. They are right with God, right? And some of those faces are going to lie to you. You gotta' watch out for them. 'Cause that pretty face just may indeed be the prince of lies. 'Cause I can tell you right now, his lies are everywhere.

-The Last Exorcism

There's a heavy rotation of exorcism flicks on my computer as of recently. I've always found the subject interesting. If we believe in God, do we have to be believe in evil - well, the evil outside of what people do to each other on a daily basis? Perhaps all of that is inspired by demons? I leave that for you to decide. Anyway, during the viewing of "The Last Exorcism", the lines above nearly knocked me out of my chair. Here's a snippet of the movie.

To Love!

Wherever you may find yourself.

For the better (or worse) part of the year, I was a hot mess! That's not to say that I'm not anymore but at least I've identified why. It was mainly due to one person, a man (for lack of a better word). A man who strung me along at will, mainly because I let him. Even through crocodile tears, I was faced with the truth. It's sad just how much we can fool ourselves without having anything to work with, on. The only person we are hurting is ourselves. We lose our legitimate hopes, dreams - a part of us that no one should have dominion over but ourselves.

I learned a lot about myself though. It would hurt even more if I hadn't. I promise not to compromise myself to someone who does things that contradict everything I believe in - knowingly. For someone to say and do things that contradict themselves and then turn around and critique the lives of others is inexcusable. Yet, there is someone who is watching everything. I am not going to be held accountable for his actions. What I did was enough.

Someone once told me, "si te revuelcas con los puercos, te vas a enlodar." It doesn't translate all that well from Spanish to English but it's a more colorful version of "if you lie with dogs, you'll get fleas." I love you for being supportive of me but there's no point in damning someone when they are doing such a fine job of that all by themselves. Instead you should pray for them. I know from personal experience the power of prayer. Can you imagine being the type of person that takes the most sacred of words and uses them to manipulate others? Everything is a game to them. This person is screaming for help.

I want to have peace and that is what I shall have again.

To Friends!!

... gotta' love you for loving me as much as you do!!

In a few posts I'll be describing some of the events of the past couple of years. What a past couple of years it has been, to say the least! Anywho ... You know when you've found someone very special when they are not only there for the goodies but for the baddies as well. I have been fortunate to have found several such people. I just wanted to take the time to thank you again for being the most wonderful people I know. You've known when something is wrong without me saying anything ... thank you for telling me that you miss me being happy. We may not be granted many guarantees in life but I can tell you that I will be back in the business of being happy once I get through my recent hurdles.

God bless all of you for being you!

Here's Jonny!

Sometimes a lie gives us hope - however small/grand. Anyway ...

This song was performed by Jonny Lang at Mississippi State University's Riley Center on June 5th. (He is one of my favorite performers and there was no bad seat at the Riley. It was a long, long drive from my home but well worth the trip!) It would be one of the best birthday gifts I would receive for the month. Thanks, Chivas! (Orale, chacho!!!) Someone behind me kept yelling for him to perform "Little School Girl". I wanted to chunk something at them! It would seem kinda' off for a grown man to sing lyrics like, Good mornin' little school girl ... can I go home with you ... tell your mama and your daddy ... that I'm a little school boy too. Ewe! Thankfully, he has grown exponentially since those times. Anyway, below are the lyrics to "Lie to Me". Enjoy!

Lyrics

Lie to me and tell me everything is all right
Lie to me and tell me that you'll stay here tonight
Tell me that you'll never leave
Oh, and I'll just try to make believe
That everything, everything your telling me is true
Come on baby won't you just

Lie to me, go ahead and lie to me

Lie to me, it doesn't matter anymore
It could never be, the way it was before
If I can't hold on to you
Leave me somethin' I can hold onto
For just a little while won't you, won't you let me be

Oh, anyone can see
That you love him more than me
But right now baby let me pretend
That our love will never end

Lie to me, go ahead and lie to me ...

Here's another one of my new favorites ... "Give Me Up Again".

The Story

On the way home from a meeting, I was listening to "The Story" and was pleasantly surprised to hear about Dr./Sister Ann Brooks and her clinic at Tutwiler. I know from personal experience how things run at her clinic. Many of our migrant families throughout the Delta have benefited immensely from that clinic. For many of these families, diabetes is an issue. At the clinic, they are given medication and a monitor machine - at no cost to them! Above all else, they are treated like human beings - with due respect. They are not asked to pay up front before receiving care. This is not a place where one is turned away because one cannot pay. On home visits, I get to see the look of relief these families have when I ask them how it went for them at the clinic. I know that they are receiving the best care possible. All Dr. Brooks tells me, “keep them coming”. I feel so honored to know of people of her stock here in the land of Emmett Till. At any rate, below is the link to her story on "The Story": http://thestory.org/.

La Linea/ The Hotline

... en Espanol.

... in English.

Cute Lil Ole Lady

This Friday marks my mother's 58th birthday. While those she loved and loved her will be celebrating it here on earth, she is partying on with the best of us. She was the glue that kept us all together. She was a phenomenon. It is now that I feel I need her most. From time to time, I can remember her dichos. Her most memorable, "mi'ja, a nadie le vas a dolor mas como me dueles a mi." She was right.

I tried looking for her in many people and failed to find her. Nevertheless, I have become content with seeing her through glimpses here and there. Her love expands itself in the mothers I work with everyday. There is no sacrifice too small for their children.

I often say that my siblings and I were raised by three different sets of parents. Being the first born held the benefit of being taught discipline, responsibility and purpose early in life. I always had a plan in mind, meticulously working to make it happen. As painful as it was, I am ever so thankful for being granted the mother I had early in my life. I cannot imagine being raised by someone not like her.

Que Dios me la siga bendiciendo!

Sex

I have been privy to many (too many really) conversations on sex. It is something I do not quite understand and completely put off by it by the end of the conversation. To some, it is a means to an end. It is power. I hang my head in such disgust.

For me, sex is the ultimate form of communication with someone whom I deeply love - no manipulation involved or needed. The ultimate form of acceptance. Unfortunately, these ideas are not universal. With that in mind ...

I have opted to not have sex for Lent. Pipe down! It is not like I was actively involved with someone. I just think back to those conversations and folks who have shared their experiences with me. I want to keep my ideals. Perhaps there will be a day in which I find myself in the company of others who share in those ideals - hopefully, in the company of my one and only.

... not too much to ask for, right? You would be surprised.

The Girl from Ipanema

There was a girl who didn't receive much love growing up. She excelled in school largely due to her teachers. Their praise meant everything to her. Still she was withdrawn from everyone else. She was fortunate to meet many people she would have liked to have called her friends but none were allowed to break through her walls - one teasingly yet lovingly called her the Girl from Ipanema. Through a series of fortunate events, she meets someone very special who helps her break through those walls. He is very patient, kind and loves her very much. His love has saved her and continues to do so.

I am that girl. That special someone is Mr. Guiseppe (aka Joe). For all of life's twists and turns, I am fortunate in so many ways. Someone noticed I was so much pain and all they did was give me unconditional love. My life is not the same for it. I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. Anyway ... below are the lyrics to "Girl from Ipanema". Enjoy!

Tall and tan and young and lovely
The girl from Ipanema goes walking
And when she passes, each one she passes goes - ah

When she walks, she’s like a samba
That swings so cool and sways so gentle
That when she passes, each one she passes goes - ooh

(ooh) but I watch her so sadly
How can I tell her I love her
Yes I would give my heart gladly
But each day, when she walks to the sea
She looks straight ahead, not at me

Tall, (and) tan, (and) young, (and) lovely
The girl from Ipanema goes walking
And when she passes, I smile - but she doesn’t see (doesn’t see)
(she just doesn’t see, she never sees me...)

It's Finally Here!

For me, it's not really Christmas until I read How the Grinch Stole Christmas! to my kids. (I remember it very well as I am watching the 1966 movie.) While distance keeps us apart, my thoughts are with them. This is a story of redemption, change and the commercialization of the season - making it one of my ultimate faves.

Welcome, Christmas, bring your cheer. Cheer to all Whos far and near. Christmas Day is in our grasp so long as we have hands to clasp. Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have we. Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart and hand in hand.