Sex

I have been privy to many (too many really) conversations on sex. It is something I do not quite understand and completely put off by it by the end of the conversation. To some, it is a means to an end. It is power. I hang my head in such disgust.

For me, sex is the ultimate form of communication with someone whom I deeply love - no manipulation involved or needed. The ultimate form of acceptance. Unfortunately, these ideas are not universal. With that in mind ...

I have opted to not have sex for Lent. Pipe down! It is not like I was actively involved with someone. I just think back to those conversations and folks who have shared their experiences with me. I want to keep my ideals. Perhaps there will be a day in which I find myself in the company of others who share in those ideals - hopefully, in the company of my one and only.

... not too much to ask for, right? You would be surprised.

The Girl from Ipanema

There was a girl who didn't receive much love growing up. She excelled in school largely due to her teachers. Their praise meant everything to her. Still she was withdrawn from everyone else. She was fortunate to meet many people she would have liked to have called her friends but none were allowed to break through her walls - one teasingly yet lovingly called her the Girl from Ipanema. Through a series of fortunate events, she meets someone very special who helps her break through those walls. He is very patient, kind and loves her very much. His love has saved her and continues to do so.

I am that girl. That special someone is Mr. Guiseppe (aka Joe). For all of life's twists and turns, I am fortunate in so many ways. Someone noticed I was so much pain and all they did was give me unconditional love. My life is not the same for it. I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. Anyway ... below are the lyrics to "Girl from Ipanema". Enjoy!

Tall and tan and young and lovely
The girl from Ipanema goes walking
And when she passes, each one she passes goes - ah

When she walks, she’s like a samba
That swings so cool and sways so gentle
That when she passes, each one she passes goes - ooh

(ooh) but I watch her so sadly
How can I tell her I love her
Yes I would give my heart gladly
But each day, when she walks to the sea
She looks straight ahead, not at me

Tall, (and) tan, (and) young, (and) lovely
The girl from Ipanema goes walking
And when she passes, I smile - but she doesn’t see (doesn’t see)
(she just doesn’t see, she never sees me...)

It's Finally Here!

For me, it's not really Christmas until I read How the Grinch Stole Christmas! to my kids. (I remember it very well as I am watching the 1966 movie.) While distance keeps us apart, my thoughts are with them. This is a story of redemption, change and the commercialization of the season - making it one of my ultimate faves.

Welcome, Christmas, bring your cheer. Cheer to all Whos far and near. Christmas Day is in our grasp so long as we have hands to clasp. Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have we. Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart and hand in hand.

Cute Wittle Ole Man

My Cute-Wittle-Ole-Man (aka: dad, papi) has been in a lot of pain during the past few months. I'm so glad he decided to visit his doctor without anyone razzing him to do so. It turns out his gallbladder is not functioning properly and will need to have it removed. Unfortunately, he was not able to have surgery back in October because his blood was too thin. No matter how many times I've seen it, it is so humbling to watch the man who raised me lying in a hospital bed. It wasn't until last Thursday that he was checked back in to the hospital for surgery this afternoon - with thin blood. This makes for a dangerous, risky surgery.

My dad is the only parent I have left. Needless to say, I love him to death. Someday I hope he stops worrying over me and my siblings. Yesterday, I told him that he's going to live to be a thousand years old. That's probably how long it will be before he sees me properly married. It's one of our inside jokes. It was so nice to hear him laugh. Of course, he worries that it will never happen. At this point, it doesn't matter anymore. Anyway ...

Please pray for him and us ... that we may be able to face the consequences of what is to follow with great fortitude and grace. I plan to bring him down to Mississippi where I can keep watch over him. Thank you so much ... God bless all of you.

50 and Counting

It's horrifying how one mistake can nearly cost you your life. Through that hot mess, I used food as a form of therapy. I knew it wasn't a good situation but I couldn't stop it. Food was my escape; it always satisfied me. There aren't too many drugs one can consume that abound and can be safely purchased. For a diabetic, this behavior proved to be lethal. I became very sick. This and the stress of that situation led me to the local emergency room.

I was having heart palpitations, chest pain and shortness of breath for nearly a week before my best friend rushed me to the emergency room. (Would someone please remove this elephant off my chest?) I felt like I was going to die. Lying in the hospital bed, I was in state of complete disbelief. I was going to die in a land that wasn't mine. My father would have to bury his second (first female) child. I know that would have brought him over the edge. Through my bouts of tears, I promised myself that I would end that situation and I would no longer misuse food.

When I became sick, I lost approximately twenty pounds in the first week - without me doing anything. I would go on to lose sixty pounds. However, through a lifestyle adjustment, I have lost fifty pounds total. (My recruits love me a little too much by feeding me. I know they mean well though and it's tamale season.) I squeeze in as much walking, jogging, cycling that I can throughout my day. My only impediments are my busted right knee and the growing cold, wet Mississippi weather. Recently, I came across some old clothes and found a lot of mediums (my ideal and normal size). They remind of a very different time in my life. (Please, don't show me those 'cheeky' pictures anymore. JK!) I hope to fit in them within a year's time - which is doable! I feel like I'm on top of the world!

I'd like to tell you what my original weight was but I'll surprise you (and myself) as my lifestyle change progresses. In the meantime, let's get some fire under the Milers Club - get your charts ready and track your miles. Maybe we can get some tee-shirts made to commemorate our success. I have been tempted to buy new clothes as the current items just sag on me but I'm going to hold off until my ideal is reached.

For those that struggle with food issues, have faith that you can change. What you seek to control is destroying you. It may take more than you are willing to give or be asking yourself of but you deserve to live the best life that you can while you are part of this world. It took nearly dying for me to get this message.

DREAM Act Yearbook

Book Tells Individual Stories of Young People Who Would Be Affected by Legislation Debated in the Senate

WASHINGTON, DC -- On the eve of an historic vote on the fate of the DREAM Act, the National Immigration Law Center and a coalition of civil rights, education, child advocacy, and labor organizations have released the “DREAM Act 2010 Yearbook,” featuring the personal stories of undocumented young men and women who would benefit from this legislation. If passed tomorrow, the DREAM Act will provide undocumented young people who were brought to this country as children with a pathway to legal status if they attend college or enlist in the military.

“Discussions about the DREAM Act are too often devoid of the faces behind the legislation. With so many barrels of ink spilled over the relative merits and costs of the DREAM Act, it’s little wonder that we forget about the people who would be most impacted by this legislation,” said Tyler Moran, federal policy director for the National Immigration Law Center. “We hope that the young men and women in this yearbook remind all those engaged in this debate that this legislation should not be about politics, but about sound policy for the children who have grown up here.”

The children and young adults profiled in this yearbook are from small towns and big cities, and have diverse professional and personal aspirations. Many have already obtained degrees in desperately-needed medical and technological professions.

First introduced in 2001, the DREAM Act has long enjoyed bipartisan support. Last week, it was passed by the House of Representatives with a vote of 216 to 198. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) has indicated that the DREAM Act will come to a vote in the Senate tomorrow.

For more information about the DREAM Act, visithttp://nilc.org/immlawpolicy/DREAM/index.htm.

Thank You

I just wanted to thank everyone for your encouraging words in the aftermath of "that mess", especially for reminding me of who I am. Your words have given me much solace. I am fortunate to have you in my life. By the way, it does not help to talk poorly of him as it does reflect poorly on my choices. He might be a "poco hombre", far from "hombre hecho y derecho" (among the less nasty words I have heard about him) but he did not do anything that no one else has done. The words were very similar ... this time though I wished they had been true.

Someday, I look forward to being with someone and be able to fully live out what should be a life-altering experience without any limitations. That is my promise to myself and you. Once again, thank you for being you!

It's a ...

... BOY!!!

For as many times as I have been fortunate to witness an obstetric sonogram, it never ceases to amaze me. There it is ... a being growing within another being! It's kicking and moving about like crazy! The view was provided by one of my recruited families.

They are expecting a bundle a joy within a few weeks time and finally had the opportunity to have a sonogram this morning. It is a little late in the game but the news was very well received nonetheless. This new addition will make this family's second boy. He will join two elder girls. Needless to say, this baby is going to be spoiled with a lot of love by all.

I have been asked to take part in his birth. This is something I am quite apprehensive about ... it brings so much hope and a sort of sadness. For the time being, please pray for a delivery without complications.

Our Lady of Guadalupe

According to tradition, Juan Diego, a simple indigenous peasant, saw a vision of a young woman on December 9, 1531, while he was on the hill of Tepeyac near Mexico City, Mexico. He told the local bishop, who asked for some proof. Three days later, according to legend, the image of Mary appeared miraculously on his cloak when he was showing it to the bishop. Today the cloak is displayed in the Basilica of Guadalupe nearby, one of the most visited Catholic shrines in the world.

It never ceases to amaze me how involved the Mississippi Latino population is in matters of faith and celebrations. This weekend, there were several Our Lady of Guadalupe observations/celebrations throughout Mississippi. Unfortunately, I was only able to attend two such celebrations at Shelby and Greenwood. In both instances, the churches were packed to the brim - something that is only seen during the holiday seasons at other Churches.

This weekend was also a test of strength for yours truly - which I failed miserably. I prayed that it wouldn't be so ...

DREAM Act: Update

The DREAM Act passed the House by a vote of 216 to 198 Wednesday night but there is not enough support from the necessary 60 Senate votes needed to push the bill through to further procedures. Unfortunately, the Senate cancelled voting on the measure ... which means the DREAM Act could be dead for the year.

The DREAM

One of my wishes is to see my recruits continue their education beyond high school. (There will be more on what I do in other posts.) Many face one seemingly major obstacle: US citizenship. I'm so proud of the elementary school aged kids who are already talking about college. Should they pursue this step, they would be the first in their families to not only obtain a high school diploma but a college degree - like myself. I will help them as much as I can to make this a reality for them. However, I had the benefit of in-state tuition, finding easier ways of paying for it all. I know the path that these kids face is hard but it is something that is not completely unreachable. It just means that degree is going to come with a lot of sacrifice - making it that much more sweeter. For those that are currently attempting to go to college, don't give up ... échenle ganas! Todo lo que vale le pena, siempre viene con sacrificio. Prepárense bien y todo va ha salir aflote. Adelante!

To Friends

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.

Just walk beside me and be my friend.

-- Albert Camus

I have been fortunate to have the love of many a wonderful people. This love expresses itself in beautiful friendships. We've carried each other through some trying times and we've thrived together. I am eternally indebted to you, especially to one person in particular. Most people don't understand the bond I share with this person. We care for each other in a deeper level. Whenever something goes wrong, the first person I think about is him. Why? I know there will always be open arms, ears and heart waiting for me and vice versa. There doesn't have to be anything else going on - dirty birdies!

... to friends!

Cheers to Mr. Colbert

Kids at Play

With a bevy of boisterous children, their parents and tired MMESC staff, the Mississippi Migrant Parental Advisory Council's most recent sessions are officially over! This installment of sessions was held at the Golden Moon at Philadelphia, MS - nearly a four hour drive for yours truly. It was well worth the trip as I don't normally get to explore areas outside of the Delta. As usual, there are some places that I think even God forgot about and others are worth revisiting. At any rate, I hope the knowledge gained will be utilized by all parties.

My role for the meeting was to provide transportation for a family (that cancelled at the last minute) and childcare. It's been quite a while since I babysitted anyone. There were approximately 30 kids coming and going throughout the sessions. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed. On Friday night, while some kids were watching a movie, I handled bingo. What started off as me playing with two kids turned into a very full table of eager kids. In an effort to pique their interest, I told them they would receive candied apples as their winning prize. Man, that worked a little too well! I wasn't able to find any apples though. Later on, some kids would get candy. On Saturday, we went to a local park. Let's just say that nearly everything that could have gone wrong did.

Throughout the meeting, the childcare staff was asked to escort the kids to an from the main rooms to restrooms and other such places. As I took these kids to where they asked for, I kept on being asked, "is he/she yours?" by folks passing by. It seemed like such an innocent comment but it nearly brought me to tears. I'll be the first to admit I wasn't in the best frame of mind going into this weekend but these kids changed all of that.

As I was wiping away tears and tending to boo-boos, these kids instilled a new kind of hope within me. Better care should be taken to ensure that they each reach their fullest potential. It's unfortunate that some of these kids already carry their parents mishaps. Their innocence is being replaced by nonsense. I feel better equipped to act as their advocate because I gave myself the opportunity to watch them at play.

Go Ahead and Laugh!