Am I Beautiful?

Unfortunately I believe this question is culturally defined and practiced. Growing up, I was not exposed to a standard of beauty that many of my friends were. My mami and other such figures didn't wear makeup, dress provacatively and other such demeaning acts. These women were of high distinction and respect. These were the women to emulate. What could makeup add to that? I am ever so thankful for having them in my life and shaping my world for the better. Now ...

Finding myself teetering between two distinctive cultures, I find myself looking into my bathroom mirror, surveying all of my flaws. (Thankfully it is not a full-length mirror. Honestly though, I would probably have too much time on my hands if I took those flaws seriously.) Of course, I have had friends who have told me that I would look so much more prettier if only I would wear makeup and arrange for a girls' night out. After much taunting, I would acquiesce and await the results of their work minutes later. Sometimes the results have been downright horrifying but they all made me feel 'different'. That person staring back at me was not 'me'. What was so wrong with 'me' that had to change? Better still, why was I so unacceptable to you? Thankfully girls' night out turned into seemingly endless nights of talking and sharing with a new group of friends.

Please do not get me wrong, I do enjoy dressing up and whatnot but I do not view it as something that should be demanded of me. It is just so sad to watch other women obsess about this and/or that and how it all can be solved if only we do this and/or that. Why?

What prompted the topic of this blog entry is a Dove movie "Onslaught" (which is down below). I do not want to ruin for you, so I will not go into details. My hope is that you watch it. If you see pieces of yourself in it, ask yourself why.